Skygazing
by butiloveyou
Summary: She believed she only needed her dark night that rescued her under the starry sky. But she felt the azure sky outside of her tower, painted with warmth. What could she do, to plunge into the darkness, or to drink in the beautiful blue? KilluaXOCXChrollo.
1. Prologue

Summary: She believed that all she needed was her dark night that rescued her under the starry sky. Then she experienced the azure sky outside of her tower, painted with warmth. What could she do, to plunge into the darkness, or to drink in the beautiful blue that she always loved. KilluaXOC. ChrolloXOC.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hunter X Hunter. Anything off from the original story is not by the series' author/artist.**

_Note: I'm going to change the characters' age in this story. Chrollo is twelve years older than the OC, whom is the same age as Killua, it feels a little paedophilic. Therefore, all the Phantom Troupe members are also two years younger than the original age in the actual story. _

_Rated for disorders and mild violence._

* * *

><p><span>Skygazing – Prologue<span>

"We are born, so to speak, twice over; born into existence, and born into life." – Jean-Jacques Rousseau

_"Will you grant me a wish?"_

_"I want to live happily ever after with my prince."_

_She whispered softly, making her wish upon the sparkles, her red stained lips hardly moving as she lied still on the ground. Her attire blended into the dirt as her fingers twitched, she wanted so much to reach out to the stars. She could hear her own pulse, like music blasting right into her ears. Slowly. Steadily. Diminishing. There was nothing left of her. She had nothing to lose, since she had nothing in the first place. She blinked away the tears that were dancing on her Alice blue orbs, blurring her memory of the beautiful night sky. _

_Hauntingly beautiful._

_How could she do that to her?_

_After all she did to keep her alive?_

_A foreign set of heartbeat intruded her silence as it came closer to her, the footsteps were almost deafening in the cold night. She found herself falling into the abyss, when she stared into his dark eyes, no thoughts ran in his mind and her own too. His equally dark hair framed his face but she felt like she was still looking at the starry sky. Those eyes reflected hers, as she saw the stars illuminating his coal coloured eyes. His sound… She could hear it so clearly when he lifted the dead woman's body off her, her mother, as the stranger placed his warm hand on her neck, where her crimson blood were spilling out carelessly. So warm. How long has it been since someone touched her? His eyes never left her face, as she watched his lips turned into a frown. He mumbled something softly, but she failed to hear it, her eyes and mind shutting down. Why couldn't she hear his words?_

_The only thing she heard was the beautiful melody. _

_The complex rhythm of his body._

_So calm and cold._

_Yet she yearned to cling onto this frozen sonata._

_"Are you a prince?"_

_"No."_

_"I wanted a happy ending."_

_"Then I will be your knight, princess."_

Eyes of the lightest blue fluttered opened as tears from her vivid memory lingered on her eyes. Her fingers found her way to the sleeping face, ghosting over the pale skin gently. The young man opened his eyes at her touch, but the child remained silent as he placed his own hand on the side of her face, allowing her to embrace his warmth as she closed her eyes slowly. On nights she woke up from her nightmares, he would always be there as he promised. _"You can't leave me, Chrollo,"_ she whispered as she withdrew her hand to hold onto the back of his hand gently. She felt sleep claiming her slowly, as she listened to the melody that became a part of her since that day she was resuscitated. A cold melody, looping like the musical box she once owned, and yet, a warmth only she knew.

* * *

><p>"Banshee." She looked up at the mention of her degrading nickname as her overly long, shoulder-length fringe covered her pale face. She was in the midst of cleaning her pistol when the older, masked man with dark hair and a pair of disdainful critical eyes, decided to ask for her. She stared at him through her uncharacteristically platinum blonde hair, waiting for the older of the two to say something. His jaw tightened in annoyance at the silent girl as Feitan rolled his eyes. He was not allowed to harm her no matter how irritable she was behaving, but he could <em>play<em> rough. He grabbed her jaw with one hand, swaying her entire head from side to side, while pushing her cheeks to make her lips part, "Yes, sir, should be your reply."

Gemma rubbed her sore cheeks when Feitan released her as she glared at him and muttered, "Germs." His eyebrow twitched at her comment as he grabbed her head and ruffled her head of messy curled hair with his hands. She was a little vile version of him, the members had mentioned that they looked somewhat related, with the whole fringe and creepy stare thing going on, the difficult personality and their short stature. She resembles Kortopi more so than him, in his own opinion anyway; although the girl was considered the senior of the two midgets. He really wanted to annoy the littlest member of their group, knowing that she was an extreme clean freak. She had always avoided the members whenever they were back from their missions, with the exception of their Danchou, that she clings to almost whenever she had a chance. "Gross. Get off me, Feitan!"

He smirked at her outcry and released her as the twelve years old child fell flat onto the ground, trying to get back her balance from Feitan twirling her around so much. "Have you forgotten your manners, child?"

"Sanitize," Gemma mumbled, almost unheard by the assassin, moving around Feitan as she headed for the mini kitchen, completely ignoring the older member. She could hear his grumbling about her insolence as she reached for the top cabinet with much difficult for her petite frame, her toes pointed as she stretched her fingers to grab the bottle of hand sanitizer. Her long sleeves ruched up around her elbows, revealing the familiar black Latin cross tattoo on her upper right forearm, as she squeezed a large amount of the gel onto her exposed skin, and rubbing them clean completely. "Chrollo will be back soon," she informed after returning her attention back to the pistol that was taken apart for cleaning.

"Tch. I heard that you are going for the Hunter Examination." Another glare was shot at his direction after Feitan dropped his dirty self onto the couch. His eyes were fixated on the television screen as the girl's back remained facing him. She never liked unnecessary eye contact. He tried to remember the reason why Gemma had to attend the useless examination in the first place. She had always been by the boss' side since he had carried the unconscious child back to their hideout in the Meteor City that night. To all the members of Phantom Troupe, the ones from before and now, they accepted the child's presence within the Troupe, even though she wasn't an official member, she was just different, something they couldn't put a finger to except for Chrollo. He had to admit, no matter how unwillingly, Gemma was a part of Chrollo. He couldn't comprehend why Danchou would place so much attention on such a frail looking child. It was supposed to be one of those fleeting obsessions of Danchou, but eight years was a tad too long to be a momentary attachment. "With that new member, right?"

Gemma dropped the screw driver she was holding as she felt a chill up her spine from the mere mention of that person's existence. She really disliked the orange haired man and his biorhythm. She ignored Feitan again, as she put together her customized S&W CS-45 in a matter of seconds, hearing the secured clicks from setting the pieces together. Her pale finger pulled on the trigger restlessly, testing the compact pistol as the emptied magazine beat gently.

* * *

><p><em>"You should go for the Hunter Examination this year." Chrollo said simply, leaning back on the couch of their rented apartment, under a false family name for the acting siblings, as he resumed watching the daily evening news. Gemma, whom was sitting by his side, dropped the chocolate stick in the mouth as she stared at her companion agape. Coming to her senses, she shook her head furiously, pulling on his sleeves to get his attention. Chrollo's eyes remained on the screen as he disregarded her little act, "Hisoka has a job for you."<em>

_She scowled at his words as she flopped down on his lap, the back of her head hitting his book roughly as she winced, blaming Hisoka for her poor luck. "He could have just asked me directly," she muttered after chucking his book to the side of the couch with one hand, while the other rubbed at her abused head. _

_"You hang up his calls."_

_Gemma pressed her lips into a line, puffing her cheeks in resentment. She hated that man. She was just getting along well with the previous Fourth, and Hisoka just had to delete that person. And he was such a disagreeable person. He was always staring at Chrollo weirdly, sometimes at her as well, and his pulse would rush unnaturally. And his thoughts were downright filthy too. She had once opened up her mind to listen to that jester-like person's thoughts, and it gave her sleepless nights for a while. His body harmony was just so creepy that made her hair stands. "But I don't want to leave Chrollo."_

_"Hmm." _

_She watched how his eyebrow raised slightly, doubting her words as she flipped onto her side, staring at the television, her lips forming into a pout. "That man scares me." She heard him chuckling lightly, as a hand dropped on her head, brushing away the strands of hair from her face. Gemma could never lie to him, and he just always sees through her so easily, like he was reading one of those thick books. "He would see amusement in my death."_

_"He wouldn't. And I do not believe you will concede easily."_

_"All he had to do was to throw me into a crowd."_

_"Hisoka said it was a favor for his colleague. He pays well."_

_"But he's a dirty liar," she muttered as she clutched the fabric of his pants tightly to stop her trembling, her mind returning back to the past. She had also stuck close to Chrollo not only because of her fondness for him, but because of his control over her. His calmness and authoritative aura had always subdued her fears. Those days before Chrollo salvaged her from the depths of Meteor City were foggy because of her young age, but she remembered the screaming, crimson and the terrifying sounds she always heard. Gemma felt Chrollo shaking her shoulder, as she snapped back to the present, muttering a soft apology. _

_She had almost lost it again._

_She was scared of leaving her sanctuary._

_She was afraid of a place without Chrollo._

* * *

><p><em>Chrollo rubbed his thumb over her flushed cheek, trying to calm the child down. His attention was no longer on the screen, but on his trembling young ward. The day he found her felt like a distant past, the soft pulsing of a brittle aura as he came upon a common picture in the forgotten city, of a parent taking the lives of her own and her child to end their sufferings. But the child was barely breathing as she stared at him, with eyes like the cold winds of winter, and yet, shining with the slimmest of hope, that he decided to bring back the child of four years. He poured his Nen into her tiny body, to push her heart to beat once more as the child clung on the edge of death, her eyes showing how she desperately want to live. Then he heard her speak, her voice so mild and fragile, asking something of the fairytales. He chuckled lightly and went along with her story, as she finally succumbed to her weariness, light blue eyes shutting him out completely.<em>

_No longer the feeble child Chrollo saw few nights before, she woke with the most fury she could contain in her elfin self. She clawed at him, screaming for him to back away, trying so terribly hard to protect herself. He noticed that the child never called for her parents. He reached a hand towards her, wanting to pat her little head, but the child saw it as a threat as she bit down on the side of his hand without regard of his goodwill. His hand remained slackened as her baby tooth drew blood from the torn skin, though this level of pain wasn't worth mentioning. Chrollo used his free hand to tuck away the light blonde curtain obscuring her face, so he could read her expression clearly. Somber eyes stared into his own pair of eyes defiantly as a smile graced his pale features. How he envied the fury in her eyes, like an untamed feline, crouching low, waiting to lash out. There were no words exchanged between them for a while, as he watched how the child's eyebrows furrowed together as she released her hold on his hand._

_"What are you?" She finally whispered, staring at her own bandaged fingers. Chrollo raised a fine eyebrow at her comment as he tilted the child's head to face him again. Although he was looking at her face again, her eyes were staring beyond him, as she breathed out her words softly, "You are silent."_

_"That's because you never engage me in conversation."_

_"No…" She became quiet again, and ripped her face away from his fingers. Chrollo watched her fingers twitched, his mind musing over what could be causing her so much distress. Her conversations with him so far were about fairytales and speech, and he could see the aura she was controlling unconsciously, all of it flowing into her confused little head. Why? He wanted to know what made her mind tick, what Nen ability the prodigy possessed. Like the feline Chrollo thought she was, the child pouched on him abruptly, her small__ hands gripping the sides of his face tightly, enraged tears flooding from her eyes, "Those people outside, they call you Danchou, they are wondering what you want from me! But you! I can't hear a single thought! I hate how you look at me and yet I don't know what you are thinking about! You must be laughing at me, fearing me, like Mother and Father!"_

_Chrollo carefully processed her words, as the child had already released her hold on him, falling to her side, exhausted from her sudden outburst, as she backed into the corner of the bed, her frustration and anger still evident in her shaking frame. His hand went to the back of her head, she slapped away his hand even before he touched her, but the child gave in after several attempts, as he patted her like he would a kitten. She was intimated by his presence, to be unable to read him like how she did many before. Chrollo wondered about how he would have felt if he was telepathic, the forbidden thoughts the child had heard since she gained her ability. Hmm. Confused? Afraid? Lonely? Why her parents would scorn her? Wasn't this a splendid ability? Pakunoda would be able to extract more of her past, but that could wait for now. "I am a Nen user and I subconsciously protect my mind from any intrusion," he explained as the child finally looked up at him, paying close attention to his words. He wanted to give her peace, even for a little while, to be patient and gentle with her, someone so young whom had been scarred by the society. "Do you have any control over your ability?"_

_"What ability?"_

_"Mind-reading."_

_"You must be crazy, no one can do that." The child muttered curtly as Chrollo noticed her lie easily. Why would she bother keeping up with the pretense after her previous outburst? She was such a defensive little thing._

_"Then what can you do?"_

_"Why do you ask?"_

_"You interest me."_

_"You are a strange adult, talking of things you don't know and things no one would ever believe."_

_"I believe I am still a child if we were to be outside of this junkyard. And you did mention I am called Danchou, why should I fear a little child such as yourself?"_

_"How old are you then, Chrollo, the mind of the Phantom Troupe?" _

_He smirked at the lack of suffix to his name, the pride in her voice, having recovered from her short setback and the formidable intelligence gathering skill the child, twelve years his junior, exhibited. It was spectacular, and more than ever, he wanted to possess her ability, to take it as his own. "I am sixteen. What else can you find out?"_

_"Nobunaga is thinking of breaking in…" She murmured as her body slackened into the white sheets, her mind slowly drifting off. Chrollo chuckled at her strange behavior, he believed this was what they said of a women's mood swing. "I am out of tune," she finished before falling asleep completely. What did she mean by being off-key? He had Machi sew up the silt on the child's throat, and a thorough check that she was in a well enough condition to survive. As a precaution, Chrollo channeled his Nen into her body again, ascertaining her condition while his aura surged through her very cell. _

_Chrollo found himself laughing, as Nobunaga had indeed broken into the room, looking confused at the scene before him. Intriguing. Machi had drugged her with morphine during her unconsciousness, but he never expected the child to be aware of her internal injuries. It seems that telepathy was merely a subset of her original ability. Curious. _

_He had wanted to polish this raw child, to refine her ability and then claiming it for himself. But he had never expected for himself to become attached, for the child to become part of his life so intimately. He gave her a name for her new life with the Phantom Troupe, Gemma, a jewel for her ability he sought after. But she became more than the feline he domesticated. He had read many books in his leisure time, knowledge was his passion, his identity, which was why he mocked God whom was thought to be omniscient. His Gemma bore the same name as a Saint, Gemma Galgani, whom partook in the agony of the one she loved and worshipped, and similarly, she had placed her faith in him, only him. What irony. He was the serpent, and he had dragged her down from her high throne, to fall with him into the depths of inferno, no matter how much she bled, Gemma had never once asked to be released. _

_If you knew my story word for word  
>Had all of my history<br>Would you go along with someone like me_

_She was his shadow, to be in the dark, supporting him in his conquest, while he would illuminate her starless sky, so that she would exist with him as one._

* * *

><p><em>Gemma closed her eyes, enjoying the soft rub on her cheek as she felt herself unwinding slowly, Chrollo always calmed her. He taught her the art of Nen, to control, see and sense the aura she was born with. With Chrollo, she no longer heard the devil's whisper, only the pulse and the words of Chrollo. If she were to leave his side, how would she survive alone? She didn't want to return back to the past. <em>

_Every heart in my hands  
>Like a pale reflection<em>

_But she didn't want to disappoint him._

_"Do you really want me to go?"_

_"You have to learn to be without me." Gemma sat up upon hearing his reply as her eyes, like silver liquid, looked over his face insecurely. Chrollo smiled softly, his fingers trailing from the top of her head to her lightly colored strands of hair. "I will never abandon you. But there might be a day, when you might seek something other than me, that's when I can no longer be with you, Gemma."_

_"But I only want Chrollo."_

_"As I would want you too."_

_She stayed silent, just staring at the handsome face that still held the same gentleness for her since the day they first met. Chrollo was always right, he had never lied to her. As much as she dread for the day to come, she knew she had to face her fears someday, without her dark knight to cradle her into his arms. "I understand. I will contact Hisoka." Chrollo flicked the tip of her nose teasingly at her serious tone, causing the child to drop her solemn look as he placed a lulling kiss onto her left temple._

* * *

><p>Gemma was lost in her thoughts as her fingers brushed against her forehead with a light smile of her lips, and of course, that little action didn't escape Feitan' keen eyes. His umbrella flung forward, hitting the back of her head roughly. It drew a groan from the child from being manhandled as Feitan smirked at her futile attempts at blocking his continuous strikes. With a flick of her wrist, a silver wrench appeared in her hand as she tried to counterattack the Twelfth member of the Phantom Troupe. The wrench was knocked away from her hand almost instantly, as Feitan attacked her arms, to prevent the child from summoning anymore of her equipment. He had really wanted to torture her slowly, in many possible ways, but this would do for now, till he had another chance. "Never let your guard down."<p>

"Chrollo!"

She screamed for the boss' name suddenly as Feitan stopped in his motion of striking the top of her head and turned his head to the door cautiously. The oak door remained shut with no signs of anyone approaching as the bandit whipped his head towards the sneaky child trying to reach for the gun on the desk. For a moment there, he thought Gemma had heard the young boss' arrival with her impossible hearing when he failed to register Chrollo's presence in time. "Pygmy, I'm going to kill you."

"Pygmy?" His velvet voice sounding from behind Feitan as Chrollo had entered the room soundlessly and unnoticed by the oldest, "I do believe Gemma is your height, Feitan." Glad for his appearance, Gemma quickly hid behind the tallest man in the room, sticking a tongue out at the glaring bandit. "What happened here?"

"Feitan attacked me."

"I was teaching her."

"Obviously not."

"I was."

"Enough," Chrollo said with an air of authority as the other two immediately ceased their bickering. Gemma chewed on her inner cheek as she stalked away, picking up her defeated wrench as it disappeared from her fingers once again. She sat down beside Chrollo on the couch while the two adults in the room were discussing the affairs of the Phantom Troupe that Gemma had no say in. Although she was never kept away from their meetings, but Chrollo had strictly asked for her to not intervene with the Phantom Troupe unless it was his direct command. Through the years she was raised by Chrollo, there were rules that were set, a wordless agreement between them.

Never question him.

Never disobey him.

Never lie to him.

And most importantly, never betray him.

* * *

><p>"Nhm. Isn't this Gemma-tan? How sweet of you to ring me up."<p>

"Whatever."

"You are so adorably shy at confessing your fondness for me."

"One more word of nonsense and I will hang up."

"Ohh. So demanding, just like Chrollo-Danchou."

Gemma ended the call, finger tapping the red button in annoyance. Her long fringe was pinned up over her head while she dumped the phone on the bed beside Chrollo whom was just lying there, reading one of the historical books he acquired recently. He raised a fine brow at Gemma cutting off the call, Gemma just fell onto Chrollo's torso idly, her chin propped on his chest after taking possession of his book.

Chrollo flicked her forehead with his fingers, silently reprimanding her for the rude behaviour. He didn't quite understand what went wrong with Gemma's education, maybe it just wasn't right for a bandit for raise a child with the right morals. Shalnark had kindly diagnosed his ward a sociopath after she went berserk on the older blond when he tried to pat her head like Chrollo did after they met for the first time. But Gemma was interesting, not like any of the Spiders, she was but a young cub trying hard to roar, using the frail petite body of hers to protect him. He wouldn't deny that her little obsessive streak did charm him somewhat. Her mobile phone vibrated on the soft covers of the bed as he eyed the black device wearily. Was it anxiety or reluctance? He previously calculated that there was only a low five percentage that Gemma would accept the mission, and he was betting on her rejection. It would be beneficial for her to be exposed to the other elements, but just the fact that she was going to be away from his sight for a few weeks was not doing good to his nerves.

It felt too soon for her. He had kept her caged in the high tower, away from the tainted waters. But if she were to leap off, would she gain flight, or would she drown in the abyss of her nightmares and be broken once again... The price for this breakthrough was too high, he could not allow any harm to come to the young feline. It wouldn't be too late for her to withdraw from the job. "Gemma."

"Sorry, I will pick up his call."

His fingers closed around her wrist before the child could reach for the phone as Gemma stared at him confused. Chrollo's face was expressionless as he remained silent, mulling over the structure of his intended words. "Must you answer it?" The words came out more muffed up than expected, almost like a lost boy's, as he released her wrist, falling back onto the bed, the unaffected façade returning to his face again. Gemma climbed onto him again, watching at his face intently, her fingers gripping the still vibrating phone tightly. Chrollo didn't meet her eyes as he begun flipping through the pages of his book idly. After a few moments of silence, Gemma laughed softly as she leaned forward to pull at his cheek playfully.

"Chrollo's acting like a child again," that rare display of merriment still lingered on her face, "You act like an indecisive boy with Gemma. People will laugh if they know that Danchou is so childish."

"You are the child," Chrollo retorted, with a light frown at his ward being able to read him. It was true. He was always hesitant with everything related to Gemma. For eight long years, he had kept the child with him constantly, teaching her knowledge, perfecting her skills, and raising her. It was a fact that Chrollo worries for her safety, more so, Gemma was a leashed beast. To let her go, would be the same as letting loose a _demon_, she's uncontrolled without him. She earned the title of the _Reaper_, when she made her debut in the Heaven's Arena two years ago. It was intoxicating, how she painted the scene in colour of her madness, baring her fangs and showing absolutely no mercy. But that was when he was around to drill back in her sanity. So deadly, and yet so pure. What an awful combination... "You can still reject the job offer."

"No. I won't."

"Why? Do you seek independence?"

"That's not it. I have to face my fears." Gemma explained softly, she was so afraid of the words she was saying, the true meaning behind them, to be around people, to control her thoughts and to not become the bloodied demon. If she could take the step, to embrace her own darkness, that's when she would be able to stand beside Chrollo, and not just fly only in his arms. "Gemma needs to grow up, so that I can remain with Chrollo longer." She leaned forward, placing a light kiss on his forehead as she used her index finger to rub away the creases from his furrowed brows. Chrollo allowed her to do as she pleased as the girl hugged her dark knight tightly, snuggling close. While Chrollo placed his hands on her back comfortably, permitting his mind to rest as he indulged himself in this momentary peace.

_If I lay here  
>Would you lie with me<br>And just forget the world_

Before she calls Hisoka again.

* * *

><p>"Tomorrow, at noon. Be at Airport Carousal."<p>

"It takes three days to reach by air."

"Nhmm. But that because you didn't answer my calls, Gemma-tan! And I have full trust in you being able to fly there in an hour, if you wanted."

"You are ridiculous."

"I'm honored by your compliment, princess. Just another thing, your client is Illumi Zoldyck. Just pick up the young heir and keep him alive till Illumi takes him back."

"Payment by cheque upon our next meeting."

"Sure thing, little princess. Oh, she cut me off again."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Rant:<em>

_I have to really apologise for the lack of structure in the first chapter, it's rather smoky too. The relationship and past between Chrollo and Gemma will be revealed slowly. The plot uses information from the manga, anime and the renewed series as basis. However, characters' color schemes are based on the 2012 series. Reviews are greatly appreciated! (:_


	2. The Carnival

Summary: She believed that all she needed was her dark night that rescued her under the starry sky. Then she experienced the azure sky outside of her tower, painted with warmth. What could she do, to plunge into the darkness, or to drink in the beautiful blue that she always loved. KilluaXOC. ChrolloXOC.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hunter X Hunter. Anything off from the original story is not by the series' author/artist.**

_Note: Do you think the rating should be changed? The violent scenes seemed a little too violent. Gemma's point of views are a little twisted too._

__I am a very temperate author, so do take note that updates will not be often. It can be as short as a month, to as long as seven months, but the series will not be discontinued unless stated. Do add **Skygazing** to your story alert. Thank you.__

* * *

><p><span>Skygazing – The Carnival<span>

It was an hour before the arranged timing as Gemma was still getting ready to leave the apartment. Her face was completely still as she checked her equipment carefully. They were lined up in her four feet tall black coffin-shaped case neatly, bearing the weight of the inverted silver cross on the cover with chains; it had been with her since that day she have decided to pledge her life to Chrollo, and no longer be the Phantom Troupe's ball of nuisance, and the leather case's content had been growing ever since.

She was already dressed for her mission, minus the lack of concern of her hair and fringe as usual. She wore a sailor uniform consisting of a long and loose sleeved white top with a navy collar, a pair of short black pleated skirt and a black bow around her collar. Her feet were naked as she knelt down on the ground to pack for her trip.

Chrollo leaned on his side against the door frame, his head tilting just slightly as he supervised the young girl's packing process, eyeing the list of equipment she prepared. "Is that all you require, and you are only bringing _Erinyes_?" The girl nodded at his question, fingers strapping the coffin closed tightly as she put on her trusted piece of equipment, _Erinyes_. Various sizes of screwdrivers, wrenches, screws and more mechanical hand tools appeared between the gaps of her slender fingers with a flick of her wrists as she secured the steel machine onto her naked feet in a blink of her eye, the steps she was already accustomed with since before her twisted disposal into Meteor City. Erinyes was a pair of black mechanical footwear, covering only her feet, with navy steel feathers wrapping around her ankles, while the black base of various mechanisms were shaped into an upturned pyramid of a sharp blade, and an array of black gears were on the top of her footwear, connected by steel wires; one such equipment that only she alone can accommodate.

"I will be going then," Gemma announced after swinging the tall coffin behind her back, only a little greater than her, as she stared at Chrollo, waiting for some sort of reply. Goodbyes were never one of their fortes, in fact they both disliked it so much as it would mean parting for an amount of time. She was truly beginning to regret her decision. She could already feel herself missing her dark knight even though she had not stepped out of the room yet. It felt strange. She had never been the one leaving, instead, she was always in the role of waiting, because she knew that Chrollo would definitely return to her. But now, she didn't trust herself enough to reverse the roles. She might not be able to return.

"Come back to me soon." She felt his warm palm on her head as she looked up at Chrollo, with a light smile and a nod. The taller man returned the smile with a light quirk of his lips, as he parted her fringe and tugged it behind her unpierced ear neatly. Gemma was probably thinking the same thing as him, their change in roles was uncomfortable as neither really knew what to say. Chrollo let his fingers slide down to her cheeks, resting there, while his ward stared at him with her unblinking clear blue eyes. He knelt down onto the ground on one knee, moving his arms to hold the child, to feel her again before she took flight, away from him. He felt Gemma closing her arms around him, in a frail attempt of a bear hug, as he smiled again, his chin perched on her shoulders; he wasn't the only reluctant one. "Don't let someone touch as much as a strand of your hair."

"I won't," Gemma giggled at his strange request, it was somewhat possessive and childish, the side of him that was shown only to her. She released him but her hands still holding on to his larger hands, as she led him to the opened window. "I will be going then," she had one last look at Chrollo before she leapt off the windowsill and disappeared into the wind.

* * *

><p><em>It was comfortable, the cool and soft sheets and comforter. It was something she owned until a few days ago. Was it all a nightmare? It was impossible for Father to do this to Mother and her. Impossible… <em>

_Her eyes snapped opened at that thought as she sat up on the bed. She was alone, and it wasn't her room. Her body entire body ached, as she trailed her neck with her fingers gently. A thin line bulged from her pale skin as she shut her eyes, remembering the days that led to all this. It was so painful, she thought as her weak palm fisted her thumping chest, tears finally flowing for the first time since that day. She sobbed and wailed loudly, letting out all of her pent up feelings, bandaged palms trying to wipe away the overflowing sadness._

_She thought she could finally experience love from Mother after Father had abandoned them. But Mother had abandoned her too, and she was all alone here. She was left here to rot. It was all in his favour; to remove any possible hindrance. She had thought of accepting death, but she knew she couldn't stand for it. She wanted to continue leaving, to find the reason of her existence, the meaning behind her 'gift'._

_The door creaked open as she looked up with her tear-stained face. Chrollo stood there, leaning against the door frame while observing the crying child; His dark hair falling over his eyes as the two engaged into a staring competition. His calm façade seemed to greatly irk the child as Chrollo watched her upset face contort further. She was so much like an open book. He felt his lips quirking into a smile as the child looked away indignantly; he wasn't really making fun of her._

_"How do I address you?"_

_"Alya…" The blonde mumbled as her tears had already stopped. Chrollo looked into her glaring light blue eyes, his palm trying to reach for her head like the night before, but the child recoiled from him. She continued staring, her overly long fringe falling over her pale features while her chapped lips were pressed into a firm line. He mused; she was doing it again, trying to act tough after crying so much like a child she was. His hand ruffled the top of her head despite her struggle as the foreign child try to move away from him. It was somehow amusing to be messing with her prideful mind. She didn't want to be treated like a child, but the truth was that Chrollo only saw her as a child and nothing more; perhaps a Nen user, but still a tiny one. _

_"Do you wish to be freed?"_

_"I-" She wanted to reply but her mind was blank of any words to be said. Her eyes slanted to look away from the pair of dark orbs as her fingers were clenched together. She was feeling at loss for words. Freed? Was she even tied down to begin with? She might have been never allowed outside, and possibly for her whole life, but she was never stripped of her freedom. She had servants at her beck and call, unlimited supply of money to spend, and even allowed for her twisted distressing methods. What she wanted to be freed from was the invasive noise that cracked her skull. This young man could not help her, just like many of the white-robed professionals that deemed her 'abnormal'. "I am not tied down by anything."_

_"But I see otherwise. Should I give you the chance to fly free?" Chrollo asked softly, tilting her chin so that she looked at her. She looked like she was struggling in her mind as he enjoyed the wide array of expressions the child held on her face. He had seen the fleeting memories Pakunoda had picked up from the sleeping child in her dreams, and he became more inclined towards reading more of the child's tale. She built her a barrier within her mind that restricted Pakunoda's ability to scan through the child's brain. He wanted to know what inspired her Nen, and what made her the way she was. Those dreams of the broken child were scattered, filled with pain and screams. But he didn't understand why. Chrollo was someone who lived to seek out knowledge and everything else that interests him, and that includes this city child that had eyes of the dead. "I truly wish to know your story, young Miss."_

_Her small palms fitted onto his opened palms snuggly, as the child fisted her fingers shakily, "I am different. People fear me." She inhaled sharply, her eyes still shut as her hold on Chrollo's palm only got tighter. She was afraid. So afraid of the secrets she held within her tiny mind. What would be the consequences if she were to reveal them to this man before her? Would he be like one of the many that begged not to be murdered, without even listening to her story? "Swear that you will never speak a word of this to another."_

_"I swear," Chrollo said simply, lifting the back of her hands to his lips to seal the promise. His eyes never left the tensed child's face as he could feel the coolness of her skin and the rapid beating of her heart. Why was she so afraid?_

_"Because of loneliness, I seek to see inside of people. I fear not knowing what their expressions meant, what their gesture intend to do, and what their eyes see. So I listened to their mind." Her anxious light blue eyes met with the curious onyx orbs, as tears fogged her vision again. Her hands were removed from Chrollo's as she gripped her head tightly, remembering the painful past. "I hear words that I should never know. This ability of mine brought along fear. I became more alone than ever. My own parents locked me in; I am sick to them. But I know I wasn't. This hearing of mine, it is not a hallucination. I know it's not. I apologized for knowing their secrets, but they never forgive me."_

_"I trust you. You are not a liar." He stopped the hands that were tearing at her brains, as he whispered the words repeatedly. The child was growing frantic, her eyes were unfocused and her words of apologises were becoming incoherent. Being a passionate person of knowledge, Chrollo saw the symptoms of a panic attack as the child was bent over with her fist clutched to her chest in pain as her breathing became laboured. He was thinking of a solution when he felt a crisp snap of change in the air. Chrollo moved away instinctively from the source of the insanity as the child that was previously wallowing in her fears looked up at him with clouded eyes. "They wouldn't stop talking. So I made them silent. All I wanted was for them to be quiet-" she mumbled as her pale eyes shifted to the door that separated the pair from the group outside. "Shut up. Stop asking questions. Stop speaking!" _

_It was too late when Chrollo realized as the child had already disappeared through the door, and had somehow picked up an abandoned metal rod in her pale fingers as she headed for the first person she laid eyes on; Feitan. The leader of the Phantom Troupe observed how the child was quicker than the fastest member as the blunt object had pierced through Feitan's shoulder before the other could react. Feitan flung the child away as the angered man leapt into the air, prepared to end the life of the insane child that has attacked him with a weapon, empowered with the cutting qualities of her Nen. But Chrollo intervened as he held the crazed child firmly in his arms, covering her eyes with one hand while the other held her wrists together. One look at Feitan was enough as a command for him to back down as the other members stood around, on guard against the strange child that their Danchou had brought back._

_Chrollo ignored the looks of his group members as he focused his attention on the still struggling child instead. "Conform to me and I will make it become quiet for you." His words were not heard by the restless child as Chrollo snapped the child's wrist without any warning, using the pain to bring back her senses but an ear-splitting scream was released from her cut lips, causing the windows of the old building to shatter into pieces. It took Chrollo a few seconds to recover from the damaged done to his eardrums as he made the child look him in the eye, noticing how blood were dripping from her earholes and nostrils, her blank eyes and harsh breathes of defeat. He relaxed his hold on the blonde as his stern expression softened, "Do you understand me? I will help you but you will have to trust me."_

_A nod was all she needed to do as Chrollo sent the child into a deep sleep, allowing Pakunoda to extract all her memories completely._

_He did truly want to help her._

_For polishing her skills so that he could someday gain them._

* * *

><p><em>They were back in the private room as the unconscious child was still in the arms of Chrollo while he was seated on his reading armchair. Pakunoda had offered to move the child onto the bed, but the leader felt that the child would be better rested on his lap, within his arms and security, than alone on the bed. The tall woman, with bright blonde hair, was perplexed by her leader's answer, but she complied silently. She began the extraction with a simple touch of the child's forehead, as her memories entered Pakunoda's mind as though she was watching a documentary of the child's life. <em>

_All these memories were carefully arranged and sectioned as Pakunoda materialized a bullet between her fingers, an ability that was only known to Chrollo. "Are you sure you want to watch them, Danchou? They are not normal."_

_"Why should being abnormal matter to me?"_

_"This child… Wasn't all you wanted just her ability? Why are you digging into her past?"_

_"I am just interested. She's such a contradicting thing."_

_"How could two conversations with her changed you?"_

_"Where have I changed? This I do not understand, Paku."_

_"I have never seen you treat anything so gently like you do with her."_

_"I do not. I believe you have seen the display of my strictness with her."_

_"Then what are you doing now? You are holding her like she is something precious."_

_"Should I not have something precious then?"_

_"That is not the point. It is that this child, she will make you vulnerable. I will give you her memories, but sympathy will not be your answer, Danchou." Pakunoda ended the conservation as she loaded the bullet into her gun while she watched how Chrollo was mulling over what she had said. It was a little of an exaggeration that the child would make Chrollo weak. But what Pakunoda saw now, was that the child was bringing out humane feelings from the leader. The Phantom Troupe was just formed, and she didn't want any interference that could possibly become a threat to the Spiders. It was true that a spider can continue surviving even if it loses a few of its limbs, but it cannot change the fact that a spider requires a head to lead it. Pakunoda believed that they were currently at a time of change, and Chrollo was the key to this change; she could not stand for Chrollo to have any weakness. _

_The loaded gun was pointed at Chrollo as the black-haired man looked on to his comrade with confident eyes, having concluded his internal debate. The child was not his vulnerability; he saw her merely as a representation of the beginning of the Phantom Troupe. Restrained by the past, by this filthy society; unique with abilities that people could only dream of and yet feared for being the unknown. And most importantly, like every member within the Troupe, she had her own story to tell, the reason behind her strength or her tears. He was willing to accept her, for he was the founder of this Troupe. And regarding his leniency with this child, he decided that it was because he treated her like humans would to a small animal. It was not biasness, but the lack of threat he felt from this small creature. She was not a threat at the moment, despite the act only minutes ago. That was what he believed. She had managed to hurt Feitan. And yet, he wasn't angry. He was greatly impressed. This child was like an unpolished jewel. He wanted to raise her, to be surprised by her optimum point._

_The trigger was pulled as he felt the bullet penetrating his skull slowly, his mind spiralling into the chapters of the child's life._

* * *

><p><em>Why wouldn't Mother speak to her?<em>

_She had asked Father once, but the bespectacled man merely smiled and said that Mother was feeling unwell._

_Unwell?_

_Was she sick in her mind like her?_

* * *

><p><em>'Jesus Christ, this is the work of Satan.'<em>

_'I don't want to be in the room with her.'_

_She was seated on her soft bed, littered with gifts from her once doting father; the sheets that were previously crème were colored in deep scarlet as the head of the seventh nanny laid at the end of the bed, with pieces of the fresh corpse scattered around the room. All she did was asked questions; it was just the curiosity of a child. She didn't mean to peek into her mind so much. But the nanny was bad. She started screaming nonstop, crying out for her to stop the questions. And she tried to silence the child by smothering her with the pillow, and that was what caused the child to snap. _

_It was that fleeting instant where she felt omnipotent; it was like she had donned the emperor's clothes, an invisible layer that freed her from her struggles momentarily. Her body became weightless, while every single sound was apparent to her; not just their thoughts, but even the sounds of the gears shifting within the inane bodies of theirs. She hushed them, like she would to an equipment given to her by her inventor Father; taking them apart within seconds, with meticulous precisions of the many joints. _

_ "Why are you afraid of me?" She asked the manservant that was cleaning up the room as she could hear his pounding heartbeat. She watched how his lips trembled, heard how his blood gushed and listened to his contradicting words._

_"I am not afraid. You are my lady."_

_'Is she going to kill me too?'_

_Liar._

_She stood up suddenly, causing the man to flinch. Her fingers reached for the man as he stumbled back in fear of what the child might do to him. Oh, the irony. Why would they see a child such as herself as a threat, compared to a grown man? She stopped in her action as her fingers closed slowly, leaving only the index finger outstretched, pointed to the back of the servant, "Do replace the broken mirror too."_

_The man nodded quickly as he chunked the remaining part into the large trash bag, the nanny's feet, and hurried out of the room. The child looked at her reflection on the blood stained cracked glasses. Drops of crimson colored her pale face, while her light blue eyes were dull, accompanied with lines of sleepless nights. She was dressed in the finest clothing, and yet, she looked worse than the beggars out on the streets. _

_She was but a rumour, someone unknown to the world outside. Father was a celebrated genius inventor, with a gentle wife, and they have got no children at all. Never would the society expect that a child did existed. Treated like a gem upon her birth, for the man wanted a successor to his creations. He thought it was Heaven's gift that the child was possibly even more than him, but fate can be cruel at times. That child grew up strange, hearings things that no one else does. She drove Mother crazy. She made Father miserable. And she was locked within her own room by Father, hoping that the child might one day be normal._

_What defined normalcy? _

_All she longed for was silence and they had never accommodated to her wishes._

_So she had to take things into her own hands._

_Oh, she loved the twisted novel._

_Like the Red Queen said, 'Off with their heads.'_

* * *

><p><em>"Your father really adores you. He showers you with so much love and attention." It would seem like a perfectly normal conversation between a parent and child, but the tears and writhed expression of the woman proved otherwise. Her face was stained by her eyeliner, while her previously neat updo was in a complete mess. Manicured nails dug onto the child's wrists as the woman watched her expressionless child with contempt.<em>

_It was her punishment. She had stolen her mother's happiness at her birth. She caused her own mother to be broken. The woman clawed harder at the tender skin, painting it cerise as the woman gritted her teeth, as though she was the one feeling the physical pain.  
><em>

_The child continued staring wordlessly, causing the woman's face to contort further as her lips spoke words that the child had constantly been listening to like a ritual. "It is all your fault. I thought he would love me if given time. But all I could do for him was to give him a successor. You ruined my life. Your very existence pained me, Alya. My husband will never look at me again. I am just an average socialite; I don't have brains like the both of you. Why can't you be more like me, be normal?"_

_'I hate you.'_

_"But I love you, Mother."_

_The soft whisper was replied with a screech, as the child shut her eyes, refusing the sight before her. Her mother released her hold as she backed away from her own child, wrapping her head with her arms; frightened eyes never leaving the child's small frame. There was no silence in the room even though neither was talking, her thoughts resounded in the air clearly for the child._

_'That monster- Why is she staring at me like this?'_

_'Is she going to harm me too?'_

_'Stop thinking! She can hear me!'_

_'God, save me from this torture, please.'_

_The four year old child gripped at her own wound, tears forming at the brim of her eyes from the pain. She had to stay awake. She didn't want to kill her mother. So many had died in the hands of the seemingly harmless child. And all she wanted was silence. Why wouldn't they leave her alone? The child felt like the world was spinning, along with the pain in her chest; from the conversations that were driving her to the point of psychosis. She was losing it. Her forehead met with the ground mercilessly, and repeatedly, as the woman before her regurgitated her loathe for the child onto the ground at the sick display. _

_The door opened sharply, fresh air entering the stuffy room as the child felt someone restraining her. Her body was limp as red liquid clouded her vision. _

_'What is this child doing to her own mother?'_

_'Why is there so much blood?'_

_'She should just die, along with her mother.'_

_The noise. _

_The chatter. _

_Shut up._

_Stop talking!_

_And she screamed._

_A blow was brought to her cheek, followed by another to the back of her skull. Her vision failed her as she found herself losing consciousness. But Father's command could be heard; authoritative, but barbaric. _

_"Dispose them. I have no need for broken things."_

* * *

><p>Gemma was seated outside the departure hall, staring at her black painted nails, while she listened for the arrival of the young heir. She really disliked Hisoka. He made her babysit, and furthermore, she didn't even know what her client's little brother's name was. It was simply ridiculous. She was not a Spider and should not be subjected to any act outside of Chrollo's command. But Hisoka had deemed this job only executable by her, and had somehow managed to work Chrollo's thoughts to fit his. Revolting.<p>

_'There,'_ Gemma noted slightly at the arrival of a certain person; the only set of biorhythm that stood out amongst the crowd. She heard the footsteps of an assassin, almost silent, accompanied with a calm and steady heartbeat. Gemma glanced in the direction of the said footsteps as she met the eyes of the young Zoldyck; he looked nothing like Illumi, although he did have his father's hair colour. The young heir proved to be indeed a professional, to be able to recognize the threat placed before him, when Gemma regarded him with aggression and a flare of her Nen. He had a pair of bright sapphire eyes, with pure white shaggy hair and pale skin, to the point of looking like an anaemic patient in Gemma's view as he strolled towards her.

Gemma used _Gyo_ to disperse the concentration of Nen in her ears. Since the day she was taught how to manage her ability, her Ten had always been irregular, that in her most natural state, her Nen flow around her body would concentrate around her brain, giving her the ability to hear beyond human limitations, and using _Gyo_ constantly was the only way for her to spread her Nen evenly. She got up from the seat, her changed footwear, a pair of black Chinese-styled flats, padded onto the tiled ground softly. "Hello."

"Right," the whitehead replied curtly, with a raised brow. His skateboard was stuck under one arm, and he appeared much more casual about this examination than Gemma. "So, what do you want with me?" Hostility was presented in his words as he eyed down the petite girl, taking in her strange appearance, wondering what she held within the coffin and how creepy her unkempt hair was.

"I am participating in the Hunter Examination as well. It would be beneficial to travel together."

"No way."

"Why?"

"Girls are annoying."

"Knock yourself out then." Gemma mumbled as she sat back down on the bench, as the whitehead walked off into the distance. She looked on ahead, while her light blue eyes stared aimlessly as the view before her held no value; she only needed to listen. She might not be a member of the _Spiders_, but Gemma did have her very own identity within the group; the _Vault_. In that cramped space within her skull, she stores not only the ability to tap into people's mind, but the memory of any information she regards of importance. It might be weak compared to a seer's ability to foresee the future, but information of the past and present could affect the future as well. Words of the Hunter's Examination was passed around as she finally located the path to the examination venue after a few minutes as her cherry coloured lips quirked into a smile at the sight of the whitehead walking about aimlessly.

Gemma picked up her coffin case as she walked with light footsteps towards the parking bay, east of where the young heir was headed. It seems the examiner was located in the blimp as she overheard an old man tipping off a hunter-wannabe of the blimp that would bring examines to the examination venue. It wasn't a low-keyed blimp like what Gemma expected, but a completely glamorous appearance with the red carpets rolled out. The crew of the blimp were dressed in colourful and eye-catching costumes, greeting the equally excited guests that were boarding the ship.

The blonde found herself rooted to the spot, wondering if it was a joke. Why would the preliminary test be held on such a flashy stage? The whitehead seemed to share the same sentiments as her as they stood side by side, staring at the setup wordlessly. "Hey, are you going to board the ship?" The whitehead finally asked as Gemma followed after his footsteps while they were ushered onto the blimp.

The interior was as expected, like a mini-party was going on, filled with music and costumes. Gemma glared ahead, annoyed by the loud and barbaric noises, which was considered music, as she walked on ahead of the Zoldyck, heading for the venue that held the hidden room. The pair stood in front of a large wall as Gemma easily found the switched that opened the secret passage; she had heard it being activated even before entering the blimp.

They climbed up flights of steps as they finally arrived at a room, with a flashing signboard on the door. "Welcome to the Nightmare Circus," her companion read aloud as she turned to stare at him with her barely visible eyes. The whitehead returned the stare with his own, shades deeper, dark blue eyes. She observed how he chewed on the inside of his cheek, as he finally reached out a hand towards her, "Thanks for the help. I'm Killua. And you are?"

"Gemma." She replied without shaking his hand, refusing to touch someone other than Chrollo. There was a pause after Killua removed his awkward hand as he stared back at the sign. Gemma only broke the silence when Killua was about to turn the doorknob, "Nightmare Circus is a travelling troupe. They are a group of people that performs with their life on the line."

"Risk-takers, huh?"

"Will you do the same too?"

She watched as his lips curved into a smirk as hands that were previously in his pockets shifted to behind his head nonchalantly, as he leaned onto the wall behind him, "That is how I lived my life so far." Killua didn't enjoy how his temporarily travel partner was such an impassive person, she spoke only the necessaries, never intending for some small talk. And the fact that he could hardly see her face was annoying him greatly too. She was shorter than him, with unkempt platinum blonde hair, and no other signs of personification. Perhaps the pale skin, from what he sees of her exposed legs. Although he swore he caught a glimpse of her face earlier on, she had grey eyes? "Are you capable of doing that too?"

What a moody person.

How he wanted to meet someone his age, but creepy children were never high on his list.

"It is not for me to decide," she turned the doorknob, as though concluding their conversation as Killua straightened up so that he could enter as well. But he never expect the words that were said by his quiet companion seconds later, "I am not my own. I breathe because he allows me to."

_What the-_

Was she seriously trying to creep him further?

Why would someone willingly live on another's command? He ran away from home, because he wanted a life of his own; to gain freedom. But this girl, she seemed to be in a far worst situation than him. He might be the heir to the infamous Zoldyck family, but at least, he didn't exist solely for that reason. For example, he was allowed to choose whether to take up the mission, or to decide for himself the next course of action. But little Gemma here, she said she did not have a choice.

_Why?_

* * *

><p><em>"It seems you suffer from severe haemophilia," Chrollo stated after the child awoke groggily. She had been asleep since that incident with Feitan for two days. One of the Spiders had kindly gotten a proper doctor to tend to the child, after Chrollo had commented that the child was fading out from her blood loss. It would seem that teacup humans were much more fragile than adults. The child sat upright on the bed, as she clutched the bed sheets under her fingers tightly. What was she upset about again?<em>

_"What did you do to me?"_

_"I extracted your memories."_

_She scowled at him for that statement, but it was dropped quickly. Her pale fingers went to her chest as she breathed slowly, trying to adjust to something unknown to Chrollo, "What did you do to me?"_

_"I do not understand your question."_

_"There's something else in me. It doesn't belong to me."_

_"Ah," Chrollo let slip his mistake as he made his way nearer to the child. His fingers gently grazed the back of her hand that was still holding onto her chest, as he made the child look at him. "I resuscitated you twice; once at the junkyard, and the other when you made such a ruckus. It is through me that you still here." Her eyebrows were furrowed as she backed away from Chrollo, suddenly feeling some form of threat from the man before her. He might have saved her, and treated her gently, but she remembered how he broke her wrist as she touched her healed wrist, her light blue eyes never leaving him. Father kept her around because he needed an heiress, then what did this man seek her for? "You are fragile, sick and weak. But you don't want to die. Each time your heart fails, my Nen, which I have given to you, will make it beat once more. But you have to be mindful, there is only a limited number of times you can die, before you are truly gone."_

_She allowed the severity of the words to sink in slowly as she could feel the presence of warmth surrounding her pumping heart. It used to beat much slower, creating problems for her health, but it was different now. She could feel it. This man's melody was slowly becoming synchronized with hers. Why did he care so much, when nobody else had even tried? "What do you want with me?"_

_"Your life," his voice was serious, holding no hint of amusement from before. "Swear to me, like I did of your secret. Swear that from this moment on, you will belong to me, and through death will you be freed."_

_"You promised me freedom."_

_"Yes. But it is freedom only within my watch. You have a choice; to live like a human with me, or to live like animal, eat or be eaten." His eyes bored into her fearful eyes, he knew she was considering his words. It was not a bad bargain. She was a helpless child. She may be able to kill, but she would never survive. He wanted her ability, but first, he needed to make sure that she would never become a threat to the Phantom Troupe. "I know how you lived in the past. I am able to give you a new life; the medicine to your insanity. Trust me."_

_"I pledge myself to you, through life and through death." She finally said after processing his words. He had said before. He could make it quiet for her. He was like an infallible antidote. He knew what words to say, how to convince her, and how to make her believe. In her moment of death, he came like the Messiah. It didn't matter what he truly wanted for her. She just wanted someone to help her, to deliver her from darkness._

_"You will live your new life as Gemma, and you will become my shadow. You can only exist through me from now on."_

* * *

><p>"Welcome, welcome, examinees! Welcome to the Nightmare Circus!" A woman, dressed in a masquerade red and blue gown greeted the lot that had boarded the ship for the preliminary examination. There were a total of thirty-three examinees and most of them were veteran participants, and told the two youngest that they had failed the preliminary several times. Her bubble gum hair fluttered behind her as she did a few curtsy, greeting some of the participants she recognized with a smile of her painted face. "For those who are joining us for the first time, I hope you will survive through this," she smiled sweetly, beautiful as she seemed, this woman, Marija, was an ex-professional hunter. "You should know, it is fate that we are all here today, at this hardest preliminary set throughout years of the Hunter's Examination. The success rate is only two per cent."<p>

Killua and Gemma were seated next to each other on the benches in the large training hall, as the crew were littered around; some practicing their juju, while others just observing the new batch of examinees. The speaker was the ringmaster, the representative of the troupe, a position held only by the strongest. Gemma glanced around, hearing whispers of how the two kids, being Killua and her, were going to drop out soon. She felt a killing intent directed towards them, causing her to turn around to meet with a pair of familiar eyes. The grown man, dressed in a tuxedo with his brown hair slinked back, was glaring directly at her. She felt a sharp tug on her hair; it was Killua, as the taller threw a glance at the hostile man before telling her to return her attention to the front.

"Although it is really hard to pass, it's quite a simple process. We will choose the best five acts out of all the participants, to do a live performance tonight, for our esteemed guests. However, out of the chosen five, only those with an applause meter of seventy per cent will be able to proceed to the next round. The audition will be held in two hours' time, you are free to use the training equipment for your preparations." Murmurs of discussions were heard while Marija handed out Accident and Death Liability Release Forms for the participants, showing the direness of the situation. All acts were to be done without safety precautions, a unique selling point of the troupe. The ringmaster than suggested the possibility of the sitting out the examination by paying a guest ticketing price; but the digits on the tickets left many speechless.

"Hello, you two. Are you on a date?" Marija asked chirpily, while collecting the forms from them. Seeing that there was no response from either of the solemn kids, the beautiful woman tried to change the topic as she looked through their forms. "Hmm, it seems that the both of you don't have a last name. What do you expertise in, Killua-kun and Gemma-chan?"

"Assassination."

"Sharpshooting."

"That's some interesting skills… I think I recognize the both of you from somewhere. Have the two you ever participated in the Heaven's Arena?"

"Once." This time, only Killua answered as he looked to Gemma, wondering why she wasn't speaking again. And he knew why. That girl had her attention back onto the taunting man again. It was definitely the guy's problem during the introduction speech, but now, Gemma was the one picking a fight with the tall man. "Do you know him?"

"I just remembered."

"Which is?"

"Someone completely insignificant," Killua heard her nonchalant reply as he watched her walk away from him. Seriously, why does he bother with her anyway? They just met at the airport about an hour ago when the girl approached him, okay, when he approached her. He felt the tingling of his spine when he felt the presence of a killing intent directed towards him, but the sight was not what he expected. A child of his age, so frail and petite looking, how could she be dangerous?

Killua saw the man that had been spying on his travel companion, maneuvered through the crowd and headed towards Gemma. What the hell did he want from her? Being the ex-professional he was, he glide through the busy participants that were concentrating on getting ready for their auditions, unnoticed as he hid away from sight.

"I am surprise that you are not leashed."

"Then you should know you can't touch me."

"But your master is not here."

"If anything happens to me," Gemma stood up straighter, making her warning go through with her venomous tone, "Everyone you know, including this troupe, will be hunted down like dogs."

"A threat wouldn't work if there's only one of you now."

"Don't even try," her words were curt as Killua felt the same killing intent that he felt at the airport. It was indeed her. Just who was she? She had the same aura as his brother… Was that aura the reason behind their strength, and the representation of fear? She's definitely not normal, they had the same scent, the lingering layer of death and blood.

But the thing is, who was the stronger of the two?

* * *

><p><em>Author's Rant:<em>

_Reviews are greatly appreciated! (: Did you see my note on top, should the rating be changed? Anyway~ I am trying to show how Chrollo and Gemma's relationship changed from master-servant to what they are now. Absolutely love writing the scenes between Chrollo and Gemma. And I hope Killua is not too OOC for your taste. He has this not-interested-in-most-things attitude, and I am trying to show you the build up of his interest in Gemma.  
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	3. Chrollo Lucilfer

Summary: She believed that all she needed was her dark night that rescued her under the starry sky. Then she experienced the azure sky outside of her tower, painted with warmth. What could she do, to plunge into the darkness, or to drink in the beautiful blue that she always loved. KilluaXOC. ChrolloXOC.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hunter X Hunter. Anything off from the original story is not by the series' author/artist.**

_Note: Rating will only be revised if requested.  
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><p><span>Skygazing – Chrollo Lucilfer<span>

_"Why is she still here?" That was the curt reply made by Feitan at the introduction of their newest addition within the junkyard known as Meteor City. The dark haired assassin was annoyed by the fact that he was not allowed to kill the child, and the next thing he knew, that puny thing was going to join them. His pride could not take for the previous assault to pass so easily. "What is her worth to the Phantom Troupe?"_

_"Everything." That was the boss' cool reply as he was responded with silence, especially from Pakunoda. His fingers laced together into a fist as he rested his chin on it, his shadowy eyes watching how tension builds up within the troupe. He had gathered the six of them, to form his team that would begin the expedition of cleansing. They knew the members would increase, that the ideal group size was thirteen; twelve forces to sustain the paragon he seeks, while he was the mind, the head of the twelve-legged Spider. However, the recruitment of the sleeping child was not planned for; it was solely his own idea. The child that he claimed as his belonging; he wanted to see her growth, her limits, and he wanted to be the only significance in her life. It was an obsession, one he didn't quite grasp yet._

_"Why? She is weak, barely able to survive life here. I do not see her worth in any way."_

_"Nen. That's what I seek from her." _

'And subjection.'

_Pakunoda stared at the Phantom Troupe's leader, indeed, he had made up his mind. The memories of the child were still fresh in her mind, replaying itself over and over again in red. How did the child managed to get their impassive Danchou to be so intended on her? It was her Nen, one that only Chrollo knew and was never going to share. Although the Phantom Troupe act as one, the secrets of their Nen were never given out to another member; their leader was the only who knew, be it through their own words, or just Chrollo discovering them after witnessing their abilities for a few times. _

_She looked to Feitan, whom was holding his anger in with his clutched fists, she was about to have her own input of the situation, when Uvogin cut in. The well-developed man shouted from the other end of the small area, mocking the prideful Feitan, "Hah, aren't you ashamed that you were beaten by a girl?"_

_"I was not defeated. I could have gotten her if Danchou didn't capture her."_

_"Doesn't change the fact that you were injured by her, with a freaking metal rod," his laughter boomed in the space. The black haired man twitched at the insult as he disappeared from his spot and reappeared before the taller man, with the same rod pointing at his neck. Uvogin grinned as he gripped the end of the rod, completely crushing it as he said the words that were evident in all of the members' thoughts, "You are no longer the fastest, Feitan. That kid is much faster, and that is what Danchou wants."_

_Feitan dropped his hands from the metal rod and placed them into his pocket, walking away without a word. It was the truth. He couldn't react until he was pierced, it wasn't just her speed. It was her Nen, she was a prodigy, and Chrollo desired her ability. It would seem like she was using Shu, something advanced even for a prodigy, but only Feitan knew it wasn't. It was something different, the rod was wrapped in Nen, and so did he, it was part of his bodily reflex, to use Ken as a response to any threat he felt. But that girl, she penetrated his armor so easily. "Hmph," Feitan stopped at he turned his head so that he could look at Danchou, "Till she proves her worth then." He saw the mild smirk on Chrollo's face, knowing full well that Chrollo had saw through him, that Feitan had accepted the strange child he brought back._

_'I will make you pay for this disgrace.'_

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><p>It was oddly uncomfortable without her presence.<p>

Chrollo Lucilfer stared at the words presented before his eyes, yet not registering them at all. Just the night before, he had been so hyped with his new collection, one about the study of afterlife, a rare find that took him some trouble to obtain. But now, this book holds no more interest than what was on his mind. It was the first time that she was not within his immediate reach; she was far, too far away. A bookmark was slotted between the pages; he was not one to fold these precious archives of knowledge as he leaned back onto the bed, having placed the book aside.

His worry for his ward's wellbeing was not unfounded. Her development was watched closely by him, any mistake was rectified immediately, but there were still things that he could not condition; her physiological state; she was fragile. She broke far too easily. Chrollo didn't mind that aspect of her, her vulnerability only made her more dependent on him. The situation was now different; without his protection, Gemma's weakness would expose her to too many dangers. Eyes shut out the world completely as he tried to find in him a form of peace, so that he could continue his day without going through this senseless cycle of worry once more.

_"Get up," Chrollo commanded as he shook his head in disapproval at the sight of his newest recruit sprawled on the ground. They have began the day with simple physical training, which included running around Meteor City, it was considered a feat considering the architectural and cultural differences of the various districts. Gemma, she had already registered this name from that moment on, though Chrollo wouldn't expect the child to completely forgo her past in a single night, judging from her writhing on the ground right now. She had been fine, trailing behind him in her own leisure pace, with the occasional tripping and some taunting from his fellow residents, but she was alright. Or so he thought._

_It was like a repeat of what he saw within her memories. She was suffering. Cold sweat clung to her pale skin as her breathe was labored; she was muttering incoherently, her eyes clouded from her own visions. The population of Meteor City was far greater than the home Gemma had never left, it was a given that she would break down; and Chrollo wanted to test his theory. She must have listened to their thoughts; the struggle for survival versus the onslaught of insanity. That alone would have triggered her medical symptom, Post-traumatic stress disorder. Her mental strength was weak, which would make her an easy target for manipulation; he wouldn't like that._

_Fingers went to his chin, as he stood, looking down at the girl whom was suffering from an episode of her anxiety attack. What should he do with such a situation? The day before, he had use pain as a stimulant to get her attention, but it wouldn't be a healthy conditioning. He needed to do something that could force her attention away from the voices in her head, her self-inflicted pain; and he didn't want to further hurt her. Ren, the Nen that cloaked his body like an armor, expanded and intensified, and his aura told of his command to Gemma. _

_Gemma rolled over on the ground, gritting in discomfort. His aura was intruding on her personal space, weighing her down with his killing intent. The walls she built around her mind, delicately weaved from her experience and plague; the defense system to keep others out, and the firepower to charge into one's mind; that impregnable fortress was being tore down by this man by brute force. Her back scraped painfully against the rough ground, her bitten nails digging into her scalp, trying to block out the foreign Nen and at the same time, solidify her defenses once more. How much more did this man want to torment her?_

_"Get out!" She screamed as Chrollo was impressed by how well she was holding on. It seems he had miscalculated; it was easy to penetrate her mind by targeting her Achilles heel, all you need to do was to overpower her will, but, she had shown, despite being an amateur that her perseverance was A-class. As much as he wanted to leave her in peace, he had to first be able to control her. His Nen flared, like wild fire burning through her very core, invading her own Nen, causing the girl to struggle even more; her fingers clawed at the ground, leaving a trail of blood as she glared at the intruder._

_"Only if you practice self-control," his arms were folded as he cocked his head to the side, his black fringe covering the look in his eyes; Satisfaction... "I will not permit a repeat of last night. You must learn to not act on impulse, to stray away from my words. Do you understand?" A nod; subjection on her entire life onwards to the dark haired Danchou. Chrollo shifted himself into his most relaxed state, watching the girl unfurl from her awkward body position, grasping for air. He knelt down before her, using the long sleeve of his shirt, as he wiped the sweat from her pale face. _

_She had initially flinched from his touch, but after registering that it was a harmless act, Gemma allowed Chrollo to do as he wanted. She squinted her eyes, trying to avoid looking into the bright rays of the morning sun. Chrollo, the new figure of authority in her life; she watched how the light shone on his fair skin, his windblown black hair reflecting the sun, and his eyes... When they first met, she had thought his deep black eyes had captured the stars in them, but now, she could only see herself in his eyes; ones that didn't fear or despise her. She had a place here; she had a place in him. To her, he was like..._

Messiah.

_"I am not afraid of pain. I will do anything. Please. Please don't ever make me leave." Her sight was clouded by her tears as she covered them with her hand weakly. She heard his chuckle; her hand was lifted away from her face while Chrollo just glanced down at her vulnerability. She had so quickly become subjected to him, the most loyal kind of relationship. His lips were quirked into a smile; his hands were cupped by her small face, thumbs gently rubbing away the falling tears. He nodded, like how she had done; it was the beginning of their bond._

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><p>Killua felt his senses tingling when Gemma turned and stared at him, creepily, he supposed; she did had only one semi-visible eye. She noticed him after he shifted slightly from the stress of hanging off the wall. Indeed, she was special; that troupe member was completely ignorant but Gemma had looked up to his hiding location, just by the rustling of his clothes. He dropped down, one hand behind his neck, looking back at the girl that had fallen silent again as he felt her killing intent subdued almost immediately.<p>

Yup, this is _the _awkward moment.

"I was curious about what went on between the two of you." He mumbled; it wasn't much of an explanation, more like a statement of the truth. But Gemma seemed to pay no heed to his actions or words, as she turned on her heel and left. Killua rolled his eyes at her usual unresponsiveness, as he followed her through the crowd.

Let's just take it that he was being stubborn. He just wanted to know more about Gemma. She was just strange, not just because she was a girl, but also of her appearance, her words and the strength she hid. It wasn't common for him to normally meet someone that could interest him; those he met were usually his target, and well, they die in the next few hours.

"What are you going to perform?"

There was the silence again.

"I am thinking of performing knife throwing."

And again.

Killua looked at her as she was just sitting on the bench, looking down on the floor, or sleeping, he guessed. He reached out his fingers, slowly, wanting to unveil the mystery but an arm blocked him from going further as she looked in his direction seemingly, "Acrobatics."

"Don't you want to practice a routine or something?"

"Don't you?"

He raised a brow at her question, and started laughing seconds later. She was really confident with whatever she was planning to do. He recalled that she said she was good with aiming, that long pause was probably her trying to find another act that wouldn't clash with his choice. Killua took out a lollipop from his pocket, unwrapping the strawberry flavored one as he stuck it to her face. A grin was on his pale features as she took the candy from him, careful not to come in contact with his fingers, with a murmur of thanks.

The two hours wait was unbearably boring for Killua, he wondered how the morbid-ish girl could do nothing for the entire two hours. They just sat side by side, quite far apart actually, at the far end of the auditorium, staring at the sea of people practicing on the various apparatus. Marija blew the whistle, signaling for the contestants to gather round. Instead of them drawing lots, the chirpy ringmaster numbered them, saying that the test had already begun, she was ranking them based on their appearance, which she explained that it was important in a circus that they could capture the attention of the audience, referring to her makeup and costume. It turns out that Killua and Gemma were her favorites, yapping about young love and nonsense till her assistant elbowed her.

And the audition begins.

Killua watched the boring performances of the amateurs, chewing on his third piece of candy as he was the second last, while Gemma was the one to close the audition. There were performances of tightrope walking, animal taming, uni-cycling and even singing. Seriously, this was a prelude to the Hunter Examination, why would they want to see something as insignificant as that? He was feeling a little worried for his acquaintance, regarding her act. Acrobatics. It was just an okay thing, unless she was going to do it ten feet off the ground or something. He glanced at her, noticing that her previously relaxed posture was getting stiff as her fingers were clenched tightly onto the long sleeves of her top. It was about halfway through the auditions, with many failures, accidents and a few deaths, was she getting nervous?

"Hey, just chill."

"Leave me alone."

"Don't tell me you are scared?"

"I am not."

"Whatever you say, you are trembling like a baby."

"I am fine."

Killua grinned again at her stubbornness as he got off the bench, when Marija called for him. He walked with confident steps, his hands in his pockets as he whistled at the amount of damage accumulated at the many participants. "I will need target boards and knives," he reply after stating his performance nature as the props were quickly passed to him. Killua was gone in a flash, randomly hopping around the auditorium, sticking his target boards everywhere. He finally stopped on top of the high diving platform, with one last target board by his arm and a total of twenty knives, one for each board in his pockets. He looked down and spotted the blonde staring at him from the same spot in the audience area, as he threw the last board to her, which she caught easily with one hand. "Hold it properly, I don't want to cut you by accident," he grinned as he withdraw the throwing knives from his pocket, one in each gap within his fingers. He stood at the edge of the diving board, with his back facing the audience.

"Number Thirty-two, going for the dive."

There was a scream from the audience as Gemma watched the young heir did a back-flip off the sixty-five feet tall platform. The trembling in her fingers eased as she concentrated on his dive, taking her attention away from the surroundings; She blocked out the thoughts that were threatening to evade her, the disappointment, the pain, the anguish, they were overwhelming; but what she saw before her, the adrenaline was worth much more. Killua flicked the throwing knives casually, doing aerial twists and flips as he hit every single target in the bull's-eye, including the one she was holding. Applauses sounded at his landing as Killua did mock-bows, thanking everyone for their attention, but not before winking at Gemma and mouthed words of encouragement, which translate to, _'Don't die.'_

She nodded and walked towards the arena, leaving her creepy coffin by the seats, but Killua stopped her once more. Gemma looked down at the open palm presented before her, it was a plain black hair pin, "Nicked it from that chick over there, how can she be a Hunter if she didn't even realize I stole from her." He parted the pin with the use of his teeth and tried to part her fringe, but she kept on trying to avoid him, moving away from his grasp. Killua had a few reasons for doing this: First, to help her see better. Second, to help improve her impression points. And mainly, he seriously wanted to see her face, or even know what color her eyes were. He finally succeeded after much struggling, one half of her long fringe was pinned to the side partially, revealing a pair of Alice blue eyes. He didn't have much time to stare as she shook herself away from his grip on her elbow and continued on her way.

Killua was amused by her annoyed expression, that being, he could finally see her face. Only her right brow furrowed down, while the inner part of her left brow tilted up slightly as her lips were pressed into a line, while her eyes were glaring at him through the parted fringe. He thought she was uncomfortable with physical contact, guess not, she completely despised it. He laughed at his own thoughts, but felt a little happy that she didn't reject him like she did of that _Pietro _guy from the troupe; and no, she didn't slap that foolish man when he tried attacking her, she kneed Pietro between the legs. He almost dropped the lollipop from his mouth when he finally snapped out of his musing, seeing that the strange girl was standing at the bottom of the platform towards the tightrope.

_'Wasn't she going to do acrobatics? Don't tell me-'_

Indeed, she did what Killua was thinking. Gemma was going to do her acrobatics on the tightrope. Holy-shit. He watched her rotate her ankles in preparation as their eyes met briefly, Killua swore he saw her smirking. She crouched low, her arms hung by her sides in a relaxed position and all she took was three seconds. One second she was getting ready on the ground, and the next, she ran up the pillar vertically, and mounted the tightrope with a wall double aerial twist. She didn't even flinch when the rope swayed threatening as Killua felt his feet going cold, imagining the feeling of being up in the air like her. She was freaking sixty-five feet off the ground, without any safety precaution taken, seriously, she wasn't him, and she was just trembling awhile ago. Killua rushed to the front of the audience stand, getting ready to bolt should she fail. "Hey, just chill," Gemma mouthed the words he said to her awhile ago, noticing the worried expression he had. Killua rolled his eyes, feeling stupid for a moment, right, she was the fucking brilliant girl who would kick someone's balls without cringing, not the weak appearance she seemed.

She continued on her tumbling routine of leaps, handsprings, aerial twists and handstands, scaring her audience as she always looked on the verge of falling. Even amongst the applause at each successful trick, Killua could feel killing intent from the audience as he looked to his left. It was Pietro. What did he want with her? His eyes widen when he saw the man took out a knife, aiming it in Gemma's direction as she was in the middle of an aerial twist, which made her vulnerable due to the lack of footing. Killua grabbed the nearest object to him, a chair and flung it towards the man, but he was too late as the knife had already been released from his grip. Killua's eyes followed after the path of the blade as he shouted, "To your three o'clock!" Gemma twisted her body around, catching the blade with her bare hand, throwing it back down as she dangled in the air, gripping onto the rope with her uninjured hand. The blonde gritted her teeth as she swung up from the rope with one hand and ended with a perfect gainer triple-twist dismount.

Killua heaved a sigh of relief at her landing as he remembering Pietro. He was so going to skin that bastard alive. He made his way through the crowd around Pietro to find that the man was already dead. His knife was stuck between his eyes causing Killua to remember, Gemma was best at sharpshooting. He looked up at the blonde whom was still on the platform, as she stared down at the dead man, completely unfazed, not even taking in the fact that she had killed someone in public.

_They were the same._

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><p>"Aren't you going to do anything about that?" Killua asked, referring to Gemma's bleeding palm as the girl was glaring at the door of their shared room. The examination was put on hold due to the death of their crew mate as Marija said that the results would be released two hours before the opening act. Killua was witness to the whole incident, and of course, Gemma was cleared from all charges, Marija stating it as <em>'self-defense'<em>, while the indifferent blonde said that it was merely _'reflex'_ which angered some of the crew members. Pietro was one stupid guy; he had been warned by Gemma and he still attempted an attack.

Killua search through the cupboard for a first aid kit as he sat beside Gemma on the bed, but the girl ignored him as the arc between her brows deepen, showing her increased annoyance with Killua at that very moment; Yes, he was too close for comfort. "Just give me your hand."

"It will heal."

"You are going to bleed out before it does," Killua stated pointedly, referring to the small puddle formed on the floor as the blood was still dripping from her finger tips. He had to admit, she bled quite a lot. He held the bandages out to her as she stared at the white strips for a second, before looking away again, "What? You have to do it yourself if you don't want my help."

"... I don't know how."

His laughter escaped before he could control himself, causing the stoic Gemma to flush crimson immediately. She stood up, wanting to walk away from her embarrassment but Killua grabbed her wrist, over the long white sleeve of her sailor top, the hint of laughter never leaving his face. She tried to pull her wrist from his grip, but Killua was physically stronger as he noticed her frowning face again, the way only her right brow lowered, which he felt was rather cute. "Let me help you then," he grinned, picking up the bandages once more, "I promise I will do a good job."

Killua chuckled when the bullheaded girl sat back down on the white sheets, sticking out her hand in his direction. He sat on the floor, his finger sliding from her wrist to the back of her hand as he felt Gemma stiffen at the physical contact. He decided not to test her patience, slightly worried that the girl might turn around with a roundhouse kick or something, after the demonstration of her lower body strength just a while ago. He used a disinfectant wipe to clean the surface of her palm, gingerly, taking into consideration that she was a girl. But he noticed that her wound didn't seemed as deep as it was previously, that it had healed partially, and his curiosity got better of him, "Do you heal this fast normally?" She shrugged, avoiding his question as Killua just returned to his attention to her hand, wrapping the bandages with practiced fingers; He was used to cleaning up after himself back at home, not wanting to depend on others. His previous profession was one that led to many injuries, through training and more training, to mould himself into perfection as seen in his parents' eyes; and he was sick of that lifestyle.

"How did you live your life?" The words left his mouth just as he thought about it, the slight incline to want to know more about her. Abstruse. It was like she wanted nothing more than to be invisible. She was quiet, a good trait in his line of work, but she was difficult to decipher. Killua was trained to be able to lift mass way beyond his physical weight, immunity to poison and possible torture devices, and also the ability to read his surroundings. But when he was in touch with Gemma, he was reminded eerily of Illumi; they reeked of emptiness, they smelt like nothing. Killua looked at the blond, whom was staring at her bandaged palm, the silence between them this time wasn't awkwardness, it was patience. Killua recognized that she was considering, she was thinking about his question; it was evident in the quirk of her eyebrows.

"I wanted to die. He picked me up, but I can never be free again," her raspy voice cut through the dead air, as though she was forcing the words out. Chrollo was everything to her, his existence was like oxygen for her, the primary thing that kept her living. But she had never forgotten about her past; the screams, tears and fear never left her; they clung to her, waiting for the day for her to be broken down. Eyes met directly, as she felt Killua mold her smaller hand in between his own callous ones, giving them a light pressure. She didn't pull away from him, pale blue eyes fixated on the deeper ones; his eyes were calm, determined, without an ounce of threat, it was almost like Chrollo. He didn't pity her, somehow, Gemma felt like Killua would understand her. It was a strange connection that they had. Both young, yet experienced; each had a secret to hold, and the sensibility to not intrude. She swallowed, blinking her eyes as she looked away from Killua, pulling her hand away from his sharply back into her lap. Her eyes darted from his confounded face to the small puddle of blood, setting her eyes completely away from the paler boy. She had promised Chrollo that she wouldn't let anyone touch her... He would be very _angry_.

The emptiness in his hands was apparent, but Killua was more baffled by the anxiety that took her so abruptly. She was quite the jittery kid initially, but Killua believed that Gemma had already warmed up to him; they were having civil conversations instead of the interim of silences. She seemed to have regress all of a sudden, afraid of something that was beyond his knowing. Was it because he held her hand, didn't girls usually blush at physical contact? The tremors had returned to her body, like it did before her audition; her arms folded before her as her fingers held onto her sleeves tightly. He continued staring, and that was all he could do. He was a professional killer, definitely not one trained in having interpersonal relationship. "What can I do," his voice barely a whisper as he remained seated on the floor, his eyes peering upwards, trying to see those light blue eyes again.

"What?" She choked out the words, their eyes met for a millisecond before her attention returned to an inanimate object once more.

"I mean," he scratched the back of his neck, awkward, "You seemed... Bothered?"

"Distract me."

"Oh. Okay." He replied quickly, but his thoughts were wiped cleaned completely. How was he supposed to do that? What if he said something wrong and made it worse? "Erm, my parents are assassins."

"I know."

"Huh? But I don't recall mentioning it to you."

"Your footsteps."

"Ah."

Silence resumed as Killua cracked his brain for a topic. He was beginning to understand the infuriating feeling of not knowing what to say, even when there is a thousand over things in his mind earlier on. He just blanked out. What was it that he wanted to know about her?

"How... How do you perceive that person, the one your life belongs to?" Killua asked, although he couldn't believe in the dubiety he had in his own voice as he traced the patterns on the floor with his eyes, trying to avoid eye contact with the awkward girl. He might be a reckless gambler, high stakes and all, but money was disposable; He'd never gamble with his life. Gemma was the opposite of him; she gave everything to that o_ne person_, her entire life at his commandment. He heard the light creak of the bed, watching as Gemma laid on her back, staring at the make-shift ceiling, her injured palm resting by her heart.

"God." She just whispered softly. But that response gave a strange feeling to Killua, something he didn't understand. He had thought that Gemma feared that person, but from the way she told of the meaning of that person's existence to Killua, it was filled with adoration. How could someone mean so many things to her, it was foreign to Killua, he didn't know how to comprehend her relationship. But he couldn't possibly stop now, he wanted to know, to understand everything about this peculiar girl.

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><p><em>"You are leaving again," Gemma murmured, staring at him with a look that Chrollo didn't quite recognize. The Phantom Troupe had been formed officially, and they were leaving Meteor City more often, in order to look for more companions and to build awareness of their organization. But each time, it was never with Gemma; Chrollo never allowed her out of their fortress. Humans carry such disgusting thoughts, and it was far worst in those cities where people were controlled by greed; how could he allow Gemma to be stained?<em>

_Despite having converted to being a permanent resident of the junkyard, Gemma was still constantly dressed prim and proper; Chrollo had took the upbringing of the young child in his pride, although few complaints of excessive pampering were arising. In the past one year, Gemma had opened up considerably to Chrollo, meaning that he was not a victim of her silent treatment. She did had a talent of getting under Feitan's skin, which brought about amusement to the other members; constantly filtering out words that were not relevant to Chrollo and staying loyal only to him. _

_He knelt down so that he was on eye-level with the child, her disheveled hair contrasting sharply with her well-pressed dress."Yes. It is important for me to build connections," he replied gently to her, while turning her around by her shoulders. Slender fingers parted the strands of blonde as he begun weaving them into a neat braid. This was a subset of skills he found necessary to learn, in order to care for the inexperienced child, whom couldn't even dress herself properly at first. Lips curled up at the memory of how Gemma refused to bath in the cold streams, leading the troupe to try and prepare some sort of a private manual-hot-water-bath for her, before she agreed to clean off the accumulated grime on her. It was strange how this child brought the Troupe together in her own way. Although he was the head of the Spiders, while the others were the legs; Gemma was more like the body that connected them all. Her selfish behavior, although selfless for Chrollo, was mostly the root of their heated conversations, forming the soft or hard approach team in taming their resident feline. _

_Gemma allowed Chrollo to touch her, simply because he was Chrollo. She would never allow any other to even be in close proximity. Unlike those humans, plagued with filthy thoughts, Chrollo was the only one she couldn't read and in turn, she saw him as the only 'white' in her dark, dark world. Upturned Alice blue eyes stared at her possessor, with a pout on her lips, showing her unhappiness despite the attention she was already receiving. Small hands rested on his chest, as finger pulled at the fabric slightly, mumbling softly, "I will be lonely." Through the year that she had been here, Chrollo had her close by his side constantly. He trusted in her self-control, but he just didn't want to risk anything; she far too important to him. He had only once told her that he didn't want to lose her, during the time when she tried to die, unwilling to endure the suffering and pain any longer. He was sincere, but to Gemma, it was always a mystery, was it her ability or herself that he didn't want to lose?_

_His knuckles caressed the side of her face gently, as she leaned into his touch, the pout never leaving her lips. With a quirk of his lips, he pinched those coral lips, causing the girl to pull back, a frown replacing her previous spoilt expression. "Well, you have Feitan, Phinks and Franklin here to babysit you."_

_"I am not a child that needs to be looked after." Her retort earning a amused chuckled from the Danchou as she turned away indignantly, folding her arms dramatically. _

_"Do you not need me anymore?"_

_"That's not what-" Gemma stopped short in her sentence as arms fell limply to her sides as she stared at the dirtied ground. "I will always need you, Chrollo…" He smiled gently, one that was reserved for her, before standing up and straightening his coat. Her eyes followed him all the way out till she couldn't see his back anymore as she slumped against the wall._

_Never go against him._

_That was his command, but she was sure that even if she could, she would rather die than to hurt him. For it was the same to him, Chrollo would never want to see her be hurt._

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><p><em>Author's Rant:<em>

_Reviews are greatly appreciated! (:_


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